Uni5 approach of children in home and school - 2
Sakthi Foundation
HOW TO HANDLE CHILDREN ? – Part 2
[Parent circle articles]
Various issues for children regarding writing...
Children from infancy ages must be given enough work and freedom for their hands, wrist and fingers.
Allow them to hold, take, roll, squeeze, smash, throw, crush, trace the objects outer surfaces etc anything non-senseless and acceptable and not dangerous.
Their palms must be exposed to various temperatures.
Allow them to handle hot, cold, warm, luke warm items.
Try to provide building blocks in wood and modern lagos which teach them spatial techniques which is very important for their placement of objects and especially writing.
Nature has provided ears, eyes and tongue at head portion which are the major organs for language construction.
First comes the listening and seeing and then imitating the sound patterns for language construction.
But the senseless old British system has insisted writing as first.
In traditional Barathian system our forefathers have just listened and documented in mind and later in palm leaves.
Dr.Montessori follows this pattern of language learning.
In most of the western nations even in present England writing comes later even at the age of 7.
But our schools torture our children to write and just do stupid board and book copying in ruled sheets and bundles of note books. Horrible comments and punishments are given.
It is a horrible situation to see young mothers at Indian homes after 6 P.M to make the small children to complete pages of just copy writing.
In Montessori-Uni5 centers we give lot of work to hands and the hands as whole get prepared for writing.
When the child is being introduced with sounds through a material called sand paper letter [cut out of a sound smeared with pasted sand, fore and middle fingers must trace the shape and this makes the sound along with shape to get registered in brain] they automatically start writing.
When our children move out for higher grades KG sections other school teacher say that our Uni5 children have no issues in writing and they love to write neatly with good looking hand writing.[Truth: the Uni5 child understands that writing is also a drawing]
Give various color pencils for the child to draw the sounds. I never say write, I say ''can we draw how this sound looks?''
I have seen children them-self taking many sounds, tracing and writing.
Immediately we never insist the proper shape, we see whether the child is able to produce the shape in any area of the paper in any color.
These things we can do at home know?
In later stage if the child has issues in writing, please check the ears, and eye sight with doctors.
I have a student in grade 5 still unable to differentiate the sounds in Tamil for it and ith derivatives.
I have students who are extreme good in reading but lagging in writing.
All child cannot write with same speed [the teacher must accept this and change the attitude]
All children cannot do the same style of copy writing, give time and space for the child to evolve.
Do not expect the child to write 50 times, 20 times at a stretch please. They will do only mechanical writing.
Allow colors which makes many impacts.
Appreciate their efforts in writing.
I have changed the worst handwriting of many children at the age of 10 and 14 with patience and time to change.
Children may take time to learn spacing between letters, words, teach them with love.
Show them how you write.
Show them various styles of writing, prints, various language scripts and use various calligraphy pens.
Talk to the school that your child need time and you are ready to accept the child's slow writing process and ask the school not to force.
When you show various writing patterns students will pick up your style.
Till today I am using the script styles shown by my English tutor in grade 5.
My students give various strokes in Tamil scripts based on my patterns.
Teachers' handwriting must be legible to the child.
Children with very slow writing skills may have problems with hand muscle coordination, nerves, motor skills etc.
I have given special concessions to such children in exams also that they can write short answers and orally attend the long answers. This can be done and slowly we have brought to the normal stage. We parents and tutors need to shed for anxiety.
When you dictate notes be loud, repeat thrice there may be children with less attention and poor audible skills.
If the child is not writing also see where he sits and with whom he sits.
I also give a special time for slow writers and they set their own timing to complete and they too obey it. We must just trust them.
Let us try to understand and accept them.....
Dr.Madeswaran.M [Mardas, 21.3.2015. Ugadhi day]
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When couple plans their family way please follow the following points:
The very first child has to be given total dedicated care in all 3 levels [physical, emotional, intellectual].
Especially the emotional setup of the first child is very important.
The infancy state 0 months – 3 years is very important.
Mother’s approach and care the first child has to be given in 100 percent.
When the first child cannot get completed with the entire 3 task till three years why we plan for next child?
It is like incomplete homework followed with fresh home work.
In modern context couple going for work need to focus much with one child in perfect way.
In modern days there are no elders at home situation to care infants in many homes.
Still in many families it is a blind belief and pride to have children immediately.
It is the choice of the couple to have one or few many children based on their economy, health and family setup.
Still in India it is a worst situation elders of the family think about past generations and force the couple to have many children.
Imagine the economy and time you can dedicate to the child.
If the first child cannot be fulfilled with complete emotional needs especially that child creates issues in physical and emotional ways.
The child feels very hard to accept the second child when he or she is not being prepared properly.
In many schools it is question to couple who have one child about the second one.
When the first child is not satisfied with the needs especially with emotional needs, the child under goes mental trauma.
This is even being expressed in violent way to elders and new born infant.
I know an engineer girl who said to her parents, ‘’if a baby comes I will kill’’ – children are very sensitive and in modern trend we need lot of mental planning for the next child.
In same issue, I have children at younger ages that are caring their new born siblings equally to a mother with compassion which is being planned by their parents, elders and teachers.
The mental preparation of the first child is very important and the mother especially must be prepared to give the physical and emotional comforts to the first child when even required along with the first one. But I am seeing most of the mothers are just making the father or elders to care the first one. This is not acceptable. The child must not be allowed to have insecure feeling about care taking in any way.
Dr.Madeswaran [Madras, 30.3.2015]
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Already I feel [am I correct?] the elder one is in need of your and your wife's person attention.
The child is unable to accept for the second one. But that cannot be rewind back now.
What to do?
1. Try to make your elder daughter to feel and trust that she has been given the same comforts when she was like the second child.
2. See to that you both give equal preference to both especially in physical combined emotional love.
3. When ever the first one seeks your attention in presence of second one either your wife or others must try to take care of that and you cannot leave the second one.
4. The role of elders at home is very important that they give total care to the elder one. This is the reason women go to mother's home for next delivery.
5. Try your best to express and make the 4 year old child [can understand] that physical harming is very bad and she will undergo the same with some one else. [cause and effect theory can be given at this age]
6. Make the elder child to understand that she cannot overrule any lines of limitations regarding handling a child.
7. Do not compare and talk anything negative about the child before others [among 2]
8. Do not bribe the child for all actions.
9. Try to stop doing certain things which she likes at some contexts and say that she deserves that consequence in calm way.
10. Do not say ''I like your sister than you or she is very good or she looks more beauty or fair'' [any thing out of comparison]
11. The mother must plan the timing for taking the domestic care of the two children and the needs are also different.
Example: Both the children need the mother to spoon feed them at same time where a great issue comes and try to balance the time for that.
12. Give preference for the first child in simple decision making, giving responsibilities [''we are moving out for picnic, she is so young, can you help amma to prepare her luggage?'']
13. Even do not make a space for the elder one to be lone in some contexts when you care the second one.
14. Try to treat both the children as same as 2 eyes in front of them by words, gestures [''for her last year birthday we got a good skirt know like this second baby's'']
15. Give simple responsibilities to the elder child to care the younger child saying that she is young and need physical help. [To be continued...]
With regards
Dr.Madeswaran.
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EXAMS – CHILDREN vs PARENTS
Now exams are going on in our country. We see children from very rich families coming to exams with various stresses. These important points can be focused by parents first at home situation so that a child can feel easy to face an exam.
1. Most of the children come without even a good pencil and other stationery items.
2. Many children come without enough sleep - parents stress them to sit and study at late nights.
3. Many children come to school just with a cup of milk or with too much of oily breakfast.
4. Many children come to school with the blackmail threats from mothers especially about results and marks.
5. Many children come to school without a good wishing from parents on their hurry burry busy life.
6. Many students come to exams even without knowing what is the exam, syllabus etc [Parents are so busy, they cannot even see to the portion paper and time table]
7. Many students come with very light attitude about the exams.
8. Parents engage party, outings, gatherings even during exam times which distract the students.
9. Parents also say that these exams are nothing for the child and they have enough good future and they can take it very light.
10. Parents must assist the child to prepare, face, get ready for exams.
11. Good light oil less breakfast, enough night sleep, wishes, prayers, stationery items, correct time in coming to school, unwanted morning stress fights at home can be avoided.
DARE DEAR TEENS
When our children enter into 13 years [till 20] we are in stress, tension and every day there is a 1000 billion task how to handle them. As a teacher working with this age group in a Montessori setup for past 15 years I am very free and stress - less with this group. It is a process of working with our own ego and students' ego.
After 6-9 years of development the human child again is undergoing a transformation physically, emotionally and intellectually.
This has to be accepted by the adults.
We cannot expect the son or daughter just to hold of saree and walk like child.
But now till 19 years they are undergoing an internal childhood which is some time very obvious.
This childhood is totally different from 1-6 years.
In this child hood the boy or girl is seeking our attention to support their internal emotional child rather than the physical needs.
They are transforming in hormonal level.
The world around them has now given them few detail experiences and many vague experiences and plenty of seeds about unwanted, wanted aspects of life around them.
This is named as ''age of dreaming, lethargic and aesthetic sense''
They are seemed to be little docile, calm, sudden change in many body level features which makes them shy.
Suddenly they disconnect them-self from adults at home and more link with friends.
Even with friends they are very picky.
The external world supplies them enough ''INFORMATION'' about various things which fascinates them.
This is the age of fantasy.
They will consider a movie hero, player or even a neighborhood person as a role model who suits their emotional needs.
But they are much aware about home events, parents actions and talks.
Their social skills with home people, relatives may go down and increase with strangers.
Every thing attracts them or does not do any impact.
Silly incidents makes them very happy or very sad.
They are very judgmental in nature.
They feel when the home does not supports they can move and live easily with outsiders.
They want to feel, experience all strange, new things.
They start thinking about their own personal life.
Now they need proper guidance in sex matters.
Boys who attain maturity often undergo night sweats with masturbation and they are confused. Girls at this age are at least given proper lessons through mothers when they attain puberty.
Boys seek more personal space, privacy etc. Give private rooms and say that you will come at any time.
Do not go and sit with anxiety when they have chat with their friends always.
When home situation is not good they seek the mental happiness outside with others where comes more danger.
They like to be more immobile and in dreamy stage as they have their own pattern of enjoyment within them.
Schools subjects, teachers attitude, friends, personal friendship with girls and boys, work load, challenges before them like tests, projects, time factors, future, parental threats etc make lot of impacts upon this age.
Given them the good clear talk but not preeching about any thing, convey the cause and effect theory and allow them to experience.
Tell them emotionally they will always have you and do not correct harshly before others, insult especially before others.
Please stop your comparison with other people.
For boys at this age father and some other family person must be a good easily approachable relation to share many things. Same a woman in case of a girl.
Proper appreciation for the work done can be given.
Give good reasonable responsibilities.
Talk to them about their various difficulties in various contexts and aspects.
Do not stress too much in many things which has to be done and make them to decide their own dates and time limits.
Convey your needs, your issues in good context in light way, they will understand.
Give them the freedom but draw the line of limitation.
Allow them to behave as growing adults in food, dress choice, trips, hotels, subjects etc
When they could not do and fail tell them the reasons and condemn but no violence.
Mobiles, nets can be given but any time you will get into the room. Their nets will be can be checked.
Give physical care in food, clothing, compassion and do not think they have reached your age.
Some may also behave like baby to their parents in voice, actions and gestures.
Some may start having a personal care pets, dolls, pillows of dream etc.
When you convey a matter tell them clearly the context, cause-effect and allow them for experiencing.
This age can make wonders and you will enjoy.
will grow.,
Happy Tamil New Year
Dr.M.Madeswaran [14.4.2015]
Accept your child as he\she is…
Parents and teachers must accept that all children are not the same.
All children cannot do the same work.
Better stop the non-sense of comparison.
Here I am delivering a real example about my student....
Several years back Uma [name changed] has been identified with various learning difficulties in school.
Those who can accept her were stress free.
Many teachers commented her.
I took language for her in a special pattern to her level.
I grew along with her.
Her aesthetic sense and creativity were focused much in her work and this has been accepted by her parents, few of us and school. We encouraged her. She took subjects based on her ability and passed out grade 10.
She dances well and I saw her stage performances which was different.
After a gap suddenly her mother gave a call and welcomed be saying that she is ready for her final UG project day and as her tutor I must see her and her work.
Yesterday I went to a grand hall where Uma with her batch mates has exhibited her research and work. Now she is going to complete under graduation in visual arts in a reputed college for women in Madras.
The work she has done made me to cry out of happiness.
She has designed several learning tools in various subjects for children with learning disabilities and she has made her work based on Montessori's sensorial applications.
I asked why she did this topic and the answer is the great message for any parent and teacher who wish to teach.
Uma says, ''How I can understand a concept in a way I would be explained, I designed for a child who will have my problem of learning''
Materials made by her have to be focused by teachers.
She has made the political map of India with touch and feel sense of each state.
She made the physical features of India with great visual sense and especially she made each river can be stringed into loops across their route through states.
Her creativity in making very special models to see - touch - feel and understand the concepts of various opposites, parts of a flower are making us to implement them in our school.
I came out with a great feeling that God has given me the maturity to accept this girl and encourage who has now produced a great techniques for special learners. Her parents are her great support and she said that she will give a set of all tools to Uni5 centers and now she wish to take up a job.
This is the reality and enjoyment of a student who is being accepted by teachers and parents especially.
Please understand your child and never force your dreams upon them......
Will grow.
Dr.M.Madeswaran [Madras, 18th, 2015]
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Festivals and visual learning
The cosmic pattern of energy is being defined in Vedas.
The cosmic truth, way to seek and realize are defined by Vedas.
When man is unable to grasp he needs visualization of the abstract.
Hellen Keller and Dr.Montessori designed their early education system more with sensorial and visual means.
These 2 methods makes the human body and mind to focus well.
Our ancestors did the same with religion.
Temples are the schools for making man to grasp and imbibe the concepts of cosmic education.
Visual impact has been given much importance in later ages when man's awareness was slowly declining.
From concrete we have to lead to abstract.
But now from abstract we move towards concrete and to grasp.
Fine arts are the most important media for this learning.
Art, painting, craft, idols, rituals, dances and music makes the most powerful media for visual impact.
Let me explain an example:
Take Vinayagar chathurthi festival.
Physical: We clean the home, draw visual designs called kolams and apply colors, apply door hangings with leaves and flowers, decorate the Ganapathy idol [even we make it with clay], all types of sacred food also come under the physical preparation, rituals with beautiful traditional objects like lamps, bells, pancha pathram etc
Emotional: We gather, sing, dance and bajans make us to release the outlet of emotions, welcoming guests etc
Intellectual: Shlokas and mythological discourse with real understanding makes us to get intellectual idea about Ganapathy pooja
In all above three levels we become aware and finally we have to serve the people and nature which is the final conscious selfless level. This is the ultimate end of festival.
Blind belief about rituals, idols worship has to be removed. People must understand the essence of Vedic rituals, idols, sensorial activities like dances and music. This is the responsibility of every parent at home to do and every Indian school to do.
But in modern education we have removed all these in name of religion and secularism.
When we have started presenting all these with clear understanding and awareness our children and parents of all religions accept. In our Uni5 schools we are following the same visual education with cultural backup. Till today none of our non-Hindu parents have objected.
When children are exposed to all these before 6 years, their absorption mind imbibe and register every unit of activity as the personality.
Parents must not misunderstand that when we expose all these to children they will become monks.
Rather than that they become good human beings
Every nation must make the citizens to accept and appreciate the culture and traditions which is the reflection of the life. It is the role of education to do it.
Various exercise of practical life activities in Uni5 centers for festival:
Polishing the brass items for rituals.
Drawing kolams with colors.
Preparing and hanging door hangings - thoranams
Assisting in cooking [In Indian dishes every items has a taste, shape, texture and color it can be taught to child.]
Decorating the altar for poojas.
Decorating the idol [most focusing part of visual learning], kalasam
Flowers, jewells, garments for deities, lamp, dhoop [frangrance smell] smoke etc
Sandal paste, turmeric paste, saffron powder arrangements
When you take the child outside....
We must take our children out of our home.
In India when grandparents were at home they take even babies outside of the home for feeding.
Outside world gives the link between the home - self and reality of social life.
Outside world makes the child to explore and know many new things physically, emotionally and intellectually and the child become aware.
When I left to Coimbatore last Thursday I saw modern parents in bus just switching on the I pads and giving their children video games, etc and there is no chance for the child to observe the surroundings even a driver.
Today as a teacher I am finding very difficult with modern children to make a good communication and social skills.
In composition classes children feel very unhappy and tired that they cannot imagine.
Visual media and technology has brought this narrowness in playing only games or watching movies or sports etc.
Make your children to observe the surrounding when they travel.
Always try to talk with them, play with them ask comprehension quiz with the visual aspects they have gained and also give correct words to enrich their language at right context.
Show them various natural settings, manmade features, people, culture etc
Prepare mentally before you leave.
While travelling play riddles, quizzes and enjoy.
Many times when I traveled with my parents at mid night when we got down for urinal usage at inns my mother has shown me the mid night sky with plenty of stars and orange moon in big size. On Tuesday night I saw the same moon when I gt down for my rest room.
In the bus I saw 2 young children asking several questions and parents just shouted them to keep quiet. A child asked ''Mother! this is a bus, but why there are many AC openings, our room has only one AC?'' - But the mother kept calm and the child's intellectual need was neglected.
All these reflect in class rooms. There are many teachers who does not want children to ask questions.
So encourage the children to talk more. In future children need more communication skills.
In country like India where the nature, people and culture are so different it is very important for us to make the children to explore them to connect and understand the relation with day to day life.
In our Uni5 schools once in a week we do nature walking exercise which makes the children to explore much more about the nature, connect to them-self and learn more civics sense.
Dr.M.Madeswaran
30.4.2015
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Dear friends,
Today is May 1st.
We observe this day to remember the work and effort put by many social helpers from a scavenger to a doctor or even a political leader.
Every living being on this planet is continuously doing its action without expecting any reward. The nature has given the chance for existing itself is the greatest reward. But we the human beings are always behind the value for our work, recognition and rewards.
Those who perform the without any such expectations are considered to be the real celebrities.
Very young children do not expect any such reward when they perform an action for us.
Every object associated with us has to be taken into a deep routing map from where it came. This will make the child and even adults to accept that even for a pencil or paper so many people are behind for us to get it. In our Uni5 centers we do this as a game.
Whenever a real object is introduced we do this game.
Example: Coconut
From where it came? - Mother gave it from kitchen
Who placed in your kitchen - Father placed this after getting from shop
Who brought it to shop? - Shop keeper
Who gave to that shop keeper - farmer
Did farmer came and gave? - No, through a van coconuts came to the shop
Who gave coconuts to farmer - trees?
From where trees got these? - panchaboothas
From where panchaboothas came - universal energy
From where universal energy came - consciousness
This is the deep level conversation we have with children and finally the child will understand the importance of many people's work behind a coconut and cosmic truth and this makes them to respect the object and every ones work.
From today let us stop comparing the various work based on money and discriminate people. Every worker is so important to us. This fact has to be given to every child especially to rich family children. Every worker is directly or indirectly linked with us.
When we perform our work with real awareness it becomes the service and when we understand that the conscious state within us make us to perform we shed the selfishness and that is ''bakthy with kainkarya''. This is the real wealth for making us happy.
With regards,
Dr.M.Madeswaran
1.5.2015
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Dear parents.,
Recently grade 12 results have been announced in Tamil Nadu.
But it is very bad to hear that most of the parents have booked the seats in various professional colleges before the results came with money.
Students do not have the feeling for studying well and work hard.
***
15 years back when we all did the same exams our parents said that course, life will be decided with merit marks which we get. Very few higher income group buy the seats.
Our parents have accepted the marks, whatever course we got, whatever income with a job we got.
But modern parents have the in-secured feeling for everything.
Most of them think that with just money they can make the future of the children very happy.
In our circle also few of our parents have already booked the seats with huge amount of money, then where the dedication will come for the student to study?
Last year one of our friend was keeping on grumbling about her boy's studies, marks and finally before the results came she went and paid very high amount in a local college.
In recent years families of any income group is planning the same way.
There are colleges in cities which can give seat even for a failed student. The student has to reappear and come back with a pass mark and heavy amount.
Please do not make education as business!
Because of this students are loosing interest and they have very strong idea that their parents can do anything for them with money.
Especially stop talking about the wealth, property which you have gained and do not tell all will go to the child. It is not true, in meantime of life anything may happen to you, your child or wealth.
When parents are unable to satisfy the materialistic needs of the children like this, children take revenge on them.
I have a boy who has stopped talking to his father till death just because he cannot pay the capitation fees for a course which they cannot get. Today he also ill-treats the mother.
Till getting a job we can make our child to get every thing with money. Will money will help them to solve their issues in day to day life in all matters?
False pride of parents is the reason for making education as a business.
I have heard students saying, ''Sir, please don't ask me to study, my seat is being booked''
Today there are 1000s of engineering and other colleges in this nation which is not the symbol of development, but symbol of business.
With regards.,
Dr.M.Madeswaran
9.5.2015
Dear friends,
after a small break we are again getting into the parenting session.
Last week myself and Dr.Pradheep visited our university friend in his village near Tirupur.
We were made to visit his home because of his health.
That friend is totally under going a mental depression trauma.
Why?
This made us to think a lot about parenting especially in Indian community.
This man belongs to a very rural area from agricultural back ground.
His family has 4 children with parents.
He is the elder most son.
The ambition and dreams of whole family upon the first son is the first stress.
The pressure of parents and unnecessary pride for education, work, position makes him to get stressed.
The pressure given by parents and siblings along with whole family group misguided him.
He finished PG in science and some how got UGC and CSIR fellowship to do his research.
He enrolled himself under a good guide in Coimbatore University.
Every single member of his village used to visit and wonder his work and take advantage of many things.
He was raised and viewed with a ''hero style'' respect.
Days passed, we all left the university.
But he has to extend the work.
His guide was frustrated.
At the same time his guide has mentally and verbally abused him before all.
The student was unable to take over the research and some how completed his work after 8 years.
The day he was rewarded with his Ph.D was celebrated by his village.
People came in vans and saw in degree awarding ceremony.
Days passed away.
He was misguided that he can pick up only a higher ranking government job with very high salary.
So he did not try for other jobs.
Years passed, he was now pin pointed with a different view that he was incapable for a government job.
The poor guy worked in few research centers and tried for a government post which is not at all available in our state. He was unaware about that.
When we tried to given him a research post in our bio-technical area he also refused.
Last year we came to know that he is just at home and going for cattle grazing.
We tried to meet him but we could not and he did not want us to meet.
Now his whole family is stressed and abuses him.
Last month we came to know that he has mentally depressed and locked himself inside his room.
When we visited his family, he abused us, refused to come out and finally we were helpless and just gave a fund for his treatment.
The village which celebrated him as a hero now abuses him as a mentally sick idiot.
Where is his Ph.D?
Where is his knowledge?
Where is his hard work?
Very important reasons for his mental sickness are:
1. Pressure and over conditional expectation of his family and society.
2. Wrong way of handling by teacher and work places.
3. Conditional way of living.
Parents make the children to live for their dreams. This is crime!
Let this friend's life be a lesson for all.
We hope he will be coming back soon to join with us.
With regards,
Dr.Madeswaran
24.5.2015, Madras
Before reopening....
1. Prepare the child [any age] physically to get in time and to get ready.
2. Try to make them to have a regular bed time with good deep sleep.
3. Have a pleasant morning wake up.
4. If any changes in school, building, teachers, friends shift [you know] prepare mentally to accept that.
5. Get ready with their needs from school bag - uniform by time and by 6 years a child can assist the parents to prepare the needs.
6. If possible let both the parents drop the child on the first day with a good mood.
7. Do not mentally stress the child with new class, syllabus and tasks and make a threat.
8. Try to hand over the child to the new class teacher, new class room, new friends with a crisp talk.
9. Try to remove any unwanted fear about any thing in the school.
10. Let the child get a good first day.
11. For children growing, if they forget try to give a list of things which can make them to recollect and bring from school safely [snack box, pencil case, diary etc]
will grow.,
Dr.Madeswaran.M
3.5.2015
Be ready for your child's call....
Prepared your child to face the challenges.
The life is full of interesting and hating tough times and challenges.
But today especially in this 5 years we are seeing children are very timid in nature.
They are very strong intellectually and informative through modern technology.
We see children even in teens very timid to accept even simple challenges.
''My child is having a blade cut, she cannot write''
''My child gets blister, please excuse for ground play''
''My child will take medicine once in a hour [for a simple fever]''
''My child feels scared about studies, he has not done the mistakes''
Plenty of lame silly excuse request letters gets loaded upon our table.
Modern parents are good in moral support to the child but they are unwanted much worried about very simple things which makes the child to lose the interest and challenges.
Too much of pampering spoils the child.
Allow the child to know the reality which is not hurting the physical and emotional status.
Give all needs but do not make the child lazy with all comforts and assist only when they are in need.
Too much care taking seems to cause fear about outer world and parents has to know that they cannot be with the child forever in all contexts.
When we do all things by our - self for the child the child is getting out of interest and mission about life.
I got a letter that when a child did a simple exercise for sports day she was requested for not taking down notes in class for a week by her mother.
Our parents were not that much intellectually educated but they were bold enough to make us to face the reality which is so much missing in modern highly educated metro city parents in name of security, hygiene, health etc.
Be at the back of the child for all needs but allow the child to evolve on the own....
Be ready for their emergency call...they will live the best life
Will grow
Dr.Madeswaran.M
11.6.2013, Madras
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Teach your child at home.....
1. Wish your teachers
2. Smile at your teachers
3. How to wish in formal friendly way [No hai...]
4. How to approach a teacher in various contexts
5. How to stand and talk with good body gestures
6. Stop gossiping about the teachers at home situation
7. Do not discuss much about a teachers negative quality before the child
8. Do not down grade a teaching position - job
9. Teachers are easily approachable adults but not friends
10. Home situation cannot be given in school by all teachers
11. What are the areas of regularity [diary signing, homework check]
12. Need not put down the school or teacher before the child
13. Do not say to your child that you have a sound voice at school with management
14. Do not try to bully a teacher
15. Do not entertain children at home to talk unwanted matters about schooling
Will grow.,
Dr.Madeswaran.M
Madras, 22.6.2015
Till the age of 6..... [Be aware dear parents!]
Your child.,
Observe every moment around him.
Imbibe every action happening around him.
Learn very fast directly and indirectly from peer group and especially from adults
Very fast language construction and be aware about your language
Very sharp in observing and listening, so be aware about your own activities
Cannot judge a person and understand the good and bad and stop advising
Say yes \ no and try to say the cause and effects
Age of taste - so introduce all good acceptable tastes in food, place the dish first at the tongue tip
Do not give too much choice, you choose 3 dresses and out of that let them choose 1
Do not put blame on others even for their silly falls, hurts and tease others
Do not put down any one and talk - gossip in-front of the child
Child of this age absorbs everything.....
will grow
Dr.Madeswaran
3.7.2015
Keep on repeating…
Very young children try to explore everything around their living environment.
This is the age of sensorial exploring phase.
So most of the children below 6 years will be very active. Especially their hands are very active.
But adults misunderstand them as non-sense or naughty ones and try to stop their actions.
We can stop any action done by a child if it is dangerous and distracting others.
Other wise please allow them to explore from which they do more self study. From this they start communication and by this language chemistry occurs.
If they do anything not acceptable we must develop the strong patience within us first and handle them.
Stop shouting, screaming, raising hands, threats, blackmails etc
Instead of that tell them that action cannot be done.
We need to also understand that below 6 years children cannot judge our long advice.
Here is a real sample....
In our Coimbatore Uni5 center one 3 year old boy used to always play with water inside bathroom.
He also used to refuse to move out when others come. For past 2 weeks our child assistants were handling this challenge very calmly and keeping on just firmly insisting that he cannot misuse the water.
Today suddenly this child was missing.
Staff went and searched for him and saw him standing near the bath room.
He was just looking the tap and bucket and came out calmly.
Same thing happened in Sendurai center with other child. He was pulling the wooden beads door hangings and elder children were telling him not to do. After a month today this child was asking a new child not to pull.
Children learn from other children very soon and they are able to accept.
So try to observe patience and repeated calm but firm instructions.....
even it works with adults
will grow....
Dr.M.Madeswaran.
10.7.2015
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