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I am married to myself with me as our only kid 8 years 1 month ago #1096

  • anguraj
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Do you know each of us individually have inside ourselves a family with a husband, a wife and a kid?

An individual comprises of at least 3 things - a mind, a heart (inner self) and a body. Without all these three no one could survive in this world.

If you look deeply, mind is the sole deciding factor of an individual and always works rationally. Hence, head of a family and can be considered as a husband. On the other hand, heart always works emotionally and sentimentally, and it can be considered as a wife. The body works depending on the commands from either or both heart and mind and so, it is probably the child. Here, the family is a metaphor for how mind, heart and body works in an individual.

It is always the contradicting opinions between the husband (mind) and the wife (heart) in any situation that affects the child (body). Like any marriage counseling, there should always be a consensus between mind and heart that body would be benefitted.

Bhagavat Gita (bible of Hindu religion) says that it is not good to either advice or reject any of the complaints that heart (wife) brings to the mind (husband). Rather, mind should just acknowledge, become aware of the situation that heart is going through, detach itself to avoid emotional involvement and comfort the heart to shed that emotional feeling out by itself. This will in turn reduce stress to the body (child).

If one learns to tackle his own self family and be happy within himself, then it is easier with your social (I mean real husband, wife and kid) family. If one cannot tackle his own heart and find no consensus between his mind and heart, then that would reflect in his body as anger or other forms of emotion that he/she would take it on their real spouse leading to huge trouble.

So, I am married to myself with me as our only kid and trying to have my family always peaceful and together.

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I am married to myself with me as our only kid 8 years 1 month ago #1098

  • Uni5
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Dear Anguraj
Very nice thoughts. We are all having similar thoughts of connecting us to metaphor and understand it deeper.

comfort the heart to shed that emotional feeling out by itself.

It would be nice if you could share your thoughts, how to comfort (very difficult to please the wife :lol: ) the mind. For centuries this has been the struggle.

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I am married to myself with me as our only kid 8 years 1 month ago #1100

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Detaching itself from emotional heart and letting the heart to console itself will in itself a big comfort for the mind (same probably applies for husband's comfortability :lol: ). It also means that it is not obligatory for mind to always hear the heart.

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I am married to myself with me as our only kid 8 years 1 month ago #1101

  • Uni5
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like a layman we want to know how to detach. Can you share your experience or give some general examples to let us know how to detach the mind from its constant nagging?.

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I am married to myself with me as our only kid 8 years 1 month ago #1105

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Detaching mind from heart, to my understandings, is not easy. I am not an expert in this. I am still learning. I discovered this through a talk provided by devotee of Ramana Mahrishi. I couldn't remember his name or find the video.

What I understand and/or practice is to tell (mind tells) your heart during a stressful situation (that is probably worth not worrying about) that "I understand all you say and I think it is right, however, to the current situation I think what you are stressing about is not worth the time. I acknowledge and appreciate your thoughts. The worry might affect our body. I am "going to order" (in a pleasing sense) to leave the subject". Basically, we need to make our heart comfortable. Something like telling "all is well" in the movie "3 idiots".

Once these words are told, we take a deep breathe as I wrote in my previous forum "We let our negatives out through breathe". Then, change the topic that you are thinking. If possible totally freeze your thoughts. While both changing the topic or freezing the thoughts are very difficult, I would say the latter is much more difficult.

However, the thought or worry could come back again and we have to keep doing this. We should not stop our efforts.

On the other hand, when mind commands or directly orders heart to stop thinking about something, you probably would have experienced that the heart keeps pondering about the same thing. We will be unable to forget it. So, the above way of doing things slowly is a better solution.

All these require continuous practice (probably through meditation).

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I am married to myself with me as our only kid 8 years 1 month ago #1109

@anguraj

Nice article, good connection. Yes you are absolute right, continuous practice is what life means.
Can you share more about how to remind oneself about taking a deep breathe in challenging situations?

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