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parenting the child and education 10 years 8 months ago #1719

I am sending my 2 years 4 months old daughter to Montesoorri playschool .She has attended the school for 1 mth but currently she refuses to go and she throws alot of tantrum now. I am trying to analyze and spoke to her but i failed to understand the root cause. Is it a normal phenomenon or should i stop her from going to school temporarily ?thank you

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parenting the child and education 10 years 8 months ago #1720

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Question: My 2 years 4 months old daughter refuses to go to school. Is it a normal phenomenon or not.

There are many reasons for this.
1 Body:. If the child is too much pampered (not giving freedom) physically at home, then the child will find difficulty at school. A parent should give independence to the child to eat, sleep, do potti and engage oneself in play. If this is not done then the child finds very uncomfortable in a new environment (like school).

2. Mind: But the child should not be forced to sleep in a separate bedroom because the child needs time to get emotional freedom. A child should always feel secured internally. Many parents, (following others suggestion), make their child to sleep independent of the parent. This makes the child develop insecurity feeling later in life. This thought is similar to allowing a child to stay alone in the house in the day time. The child does not get the good quality of sleep that it enjoys sleeping with the parents. When the child naturally feels that it wants to sleep alone then the parents should understand that it has got inner security strength.

However in the day time, it is also not good to hold on to the baby always. The baby should be have a secured feeling that its mother is around and so it can play happily. If the mother holds on the baby always without giving this freedom, then the child feels difficult without being the mother. They will then cry going to school or even go with any other person, other than the mother. This also is a stress later to the mother. Till age of 2 to 3, the child should be maximum in the mother's presence only (for emotional security), but not physically bonded.

3. Intelligence : Only after developing strong emotional stability a child should be allowed to grow the intelligence faculty. Too much emphasis on intelligence before the emotional maturity may later lead to depression and other psychological problems.

In some Montessori schools, some teachers may enforce too rigidly the disciplinary rules to the child. This will surely make the child very uncomfortable. So best is to talk to the teacher and find what makes her uncomfortable. This will solve the problem.

In Our Uni5 Sakthi Schools, most of the children feel at home in our school. When we find a child being uncomfortable at school, then we teachers talk to the parent and find out what is different from the home at school. Correcting that factor makes the child to resume the school with joy.

Our Sakthi Schools

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parenting the child and education 10 years 7 months ago #1732

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I read in PubMed that sending a child before 3 years old to school might make her stubborn and reduce family bonding. Is it true sir? What should I do?

There is a certain extent of Truth. All scientific studies are oriented to know the Truth, but biased interpretation can change the distance (deviates) from Truth.

Not all children of 3 years old going to school doesnt become stubborn, but a majority do become. The factors that cause that stubbornness are

1.parents attitude,
2.the school attitude,
3.teacher's attitude
4.the individual's attitude
5.and finally the society's attitude also.

These five factors if not taken into consideration will not give the Truth behind the problem. All these factors in different proportion contribute to the child's problem in school.

When everything is in the right proportion then there is only happiness and no problem. When there is a dis-proportion , that is felt as suffering or problem.

If the child gets strong bonding at home, then the child will be very comfortable at school. Our child went to school at 3.00, we took the child to different school and we 3 sat together and took the decision, which school the child should go. Here as parents, we will have naturally academic and fees expense bias. The child has another sort of bias. My wife had a different Guru and so she had that bias whether to put in another Guru's school. Another Bias she had was whether the child studying in Maharishi school can do well academically?.

We 3 of us looked out of the box and made the decision of attending the Maharishi School. Till now no regrets. First day our son was so happy at school (first time being away with mom and dad) and did not miss us. Afternoon when we went to take home, he suddenly started crying.

We wrongly interpretted that the child was not happy at school. But when we asked him and heard his reply we burst into laughter. He said he did not want to go home because he has not completed playing with all the materials in the school.

The school also is clear that more than academics evolution, being happy is the priority in life. Make sure what stress your child has. Remove that stress. She will then be comfortable and happy wherever she is.

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parenting the child and education 10 years 7 months ago #1733

This is the same case on teaching children or anyone (not just academics, anything else). If the individual is bombarded with intellectual facts without taking care of the BODY and MIND aspect, the resistance to gain INTELLIGENCE will be more (This is reflected as getting BORED).

We can compare this to building a home. Lot of attention need to be put on the foundation initially before thinking about interior designing like wall color's etc to portray the home to the public. If the foundation (BODY) is not strong, then the whole building is not worth to stay in because it might collapse anytime.

After the focus on foundation is done, then design the house to satisfy the individual which is more colorful (MIND), else the occupant of the house will not be happy.

After the focus on individual needs are done, use the scriptures (INTELLECT) to work out the design to fullfill the foundation (BODY) and individual (MIND) requirement.

In the above case all 3 aspects (BODY, MIND and INTELLECT) will be happy.

If these three aspects are balanced properly then the house will be built with AWARENESS which obviously will be very effective and the occupant will be happy and feel secure in the house. If any one of the aspect is overlooked the house built will have lot of flaws, then there will always be insecure feeling.

If we connect the above example to a child we can see that the orderly fashion of bringing up an effective child is an optimum procedure.

In my personal experience I have done the same mistake in jumping into INTELLECT mode with children and other individuals and now I'm back in this systematic approach and I see a huge difference in myself and others.

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parenting the child and education 10 years 7 months ago #1734

Thank you for your reply. I don't actually understand the body,intelligence and mind part. Can you please explain a bit how to I achieve the above with some examples?

How should a child be treated or guided into each category so that they become a complete human being.

thank you

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parenting the child and education 10 years 7 months ago #1735

In this regard, my experience with my daughter could be a practical example.

Initially, because all my other friends were sending their kids to so many classes, even I put my daughter in Bharatanatyam and kumon classes without understanding her interest. She was attending all these classes with my force but did not enjoy any. She used to feel bored as Muthu has correctly pointed and lazy to go. Then I just paused and observed where things are going wrong.

Then, I realized first a discipline has to be set at the foundation i.e. body level. I started giving her healthy food made with good thoughts, corrected her toilet problem by giving more fiber rich foods due to which she started being more active. Then I noticed her interests were in sports and Arts and likes to do most of the time. Then I put her in those classes, where she is doing very well and enjoys most. Now, she loves to attend these classes, also her concentration and creative skills improved due to which she is now doing very good in her regular academics too.Now, she is being more aware of her actions, eager to know many things and keeps asking questions.

So, from my experience too I strongly recommend to bring growth in kids in this step wise pattern of Body, Mind and Intelligence ladder and experience the difference.

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