What to expect while expecting?

Expecting anything from a child after a child is born brings lot of frustrations. A mother can only sow the desires of good qualities during pregnancy. After this programing the child during pregnancy period,  it is difficult to change the nature of the child.

Just to make this clear, we give a simple observation of the ingenious wisdom of farmers in india who do the programing of seeds before sowing Agathi (Sesbania grandiflora) seeds. The leaves are known for its potent medicinal nature but is bitter in taste. But the remarkable thing is that if the needs are soaked in milk for two  days before it is sown, the bitter taste of the Agathi leaves is reduced considerably.

This is similar to programming of child at the pregnancy time. The mother has control over the child only in the pregnancy period because her thoughts has control over the development of the mind of the child. This is like the milk's influence on the bitterness of the Agathi seeds before sowed in the soil. After delivery a child develops an individuality of its own and is molded then by the external environment.

Most of the parents take no care of this internal environment of the child and does all the parenting and disciplining after the child is born. This is like trying to remve the bitterness of the Agathi seeds without the pretreatment before sprouting.

Love,  the intrinsic factor that touches the internal: Once the umbilical cord has been cut, the child is totally an independant person. No more the mother's thoughts influence the child. After this only a mother's and father's Love alone can change the child internal nature. The love we refer here is the unconditional love, which means love the child as the child is without any expectation but allow the child to to fulfill the desires of the child. 

This does not mean that the child should be allowed to do whatever the child likes. Make the child understand the effects of its action (Karma). Make the child experience the effects of Self-discipline and Responsibility.

Self-discipline and Responsibility are the two important aspect that every parent has to be focussed while the child is growing,  along with the internal focus of the parent's own inner child.

Simple Golden law..."Do not do anything to the child, that you do not want others do to you". Love and show to the child that what you are able to do. When parents cannot show responsibility to family and soceity , how can they demand from child the same?.

 Please continue to read "Fundamental facts in Parenting".